Her Loss is My Gain/RRivers

My grandmother is someone who is very important to me; that's why I chose to write about her. She has been through a lot in her life. Rubye Nell Kelley gave birth to her only child, my mother. She was born in 1919 and is currently 88. Right now she is currently fighting cancer, being deaf, and has lost almost all of her eye sight. She is making sure that all of her grandchildren are going through college. She is everything to me and I felt that it was only correct to interview her and hear what she has to say about being a woman:

What does being a woman mean to you?
"Being a woman means to me that, I can respect myself and be able to provide just as much as my husband used to. I can live my life with the same dignity as any man could and I am proud of that."

Give an example of an event that has challenged your womanhood:
"When I was 59, your grandfather Clarence was killed walking home from church. A drunk driver swerved onto the sidewalk and hit him. I'll never forget that day. The accident was so horrible; I could only identify him by his shoes. Well, the point is, your mother Ann was only 23 and in the University of Southern Carolina. Raising and supporting her, even though she was an only child, was very difficult. Getting her through college was rough because I had to work two jobs just to support her funds. I took over a laundromat and was also an accountant. You know, I'm sorry things happened for that reason, but, well she came out a stronger person. The way she raised you children; I'm very proud of her. Everything from that point forward really changed the way I have had a view on life. I have become more aware of everything and even became more protective of Ann.

My grandmother has been through a lot just to get her family and ours to where they need to be. She is very important to me and without her, I wouldn't have the mother and family I do now. She has always been there for all of us no matter how bad a situation. She always puts family first and loves with all of her heart. This is why I'm proud to share a part of my grandmother with you.

My Story / By: Christoffer Nyman

Are males and females really that different, or is it just the human mind that makes everything so much harder, than it really is? As a guy here in the United States, I feel that this question is very important. The discrimination between men and women is way too big and has to be eliminated. I also believe that the tradition that many of us are raised by isn’t exactly in favor for the women. Many people still have the thoughts that women aren’t the same as the men. To some extent, this is true. Women have less muscle strength the men, which gives them a huge disadvantage in some industries. But, in some industries, where they don’t have any disadvantage, they are sometimes not treated as equal to the men. This is wrong. However, we can not forget that the world is changing to the better every day, and some industries are actually a huge majority of women: the fashion industry.

Being a man is both easy and difficult. Just as my sister said: It depends on what age you’re in. When being around thirty, many people start a family, and move into a new house or apartment. At this point, the man a often expected to be the only source of income. The woman stays at home and takes care of the kids and the man goes to work. Is this right or wrong? Who can tell? Someone has to work and someone has to stay with the babies. However, being a man has many positive aspects. Unfortunately, the world has, and still is, very man dominated. The men gets often paid more than women, and it is sometimes easier to get a job as a man. Of course, this is totally wrong, but in some countries, you have to change the religion if the woman should be equally treated. This is very hard, if not almost impossible.

When I first decided to start my own event company, I didn’t see all the obstacles that I would face. As an event planner, I had to make all kinds of events, such as parties, concerts, and fashion shows. When it came to making fashion shows, which later on actually became my main event, I didn’t think so much about what kind of people I would have to work with. In the fashion industry, most of the people that you will work with are women. Not that I have any problem working with women, but being in an industry that actually includes more women then men is very challenging. I am a guy that has been raised with playing soccer and other sport, where the females only stood on the side and watched. I guess that this made me a very “man” guy. We spoke to each other in a very aggressive tone and no one cared. This is not the same with women. I had to start learning to adapt, and know how these women worked, and thought how the work should be done. Sometimes it is actually a big difference. In my opinion, most women are very sensitive, and therefore I couldn’t use my aggressive language with them. I was used to say phrases like: “Stop being such a baby, and start working. NOW!” I could not do this anymore. I had to be very careful, and that made me very frustrated sometimes. However, this period was the best time of my life. I learned a lot about how to behave against different people. Making fashion show became later on, my company’s main event.

Being able to succeed in the new world that is coming, everyone has to understand that both men and women are equal, and should be treated this way. We should all have the same possibilities and salaries. My experience with the event company, made me realize more that even if men and women are different in some ways, we are all the same inside. We just have to act differently when we are talking to a man versus a woman. If everyone would understand this, the world would be a place where everyone is equally treated.

Woman experience/BLara

“Woman experience and what does it mean for them to be a woman”

1. Who I am going to Interview?

The woman I am going to Interview is a strong woman, a woman that has gone through a lot and was on her own with no parent support or parents to tell her what was good and separate it from the bad.

Her name is Lourdes Martinez a woman that I admire a lot and a person whom I have learned a lot from. She is my sister! She is 21 years old going on 22 on the 28^th of April. She has been by my side ever since I was born. She is a woman with a short temper, yet at some times when you need her help she is always there to help you and have the patience to listen to you all the way. In a sense you can say that she is an understanding person. My sister was raised by her grandparents, brought to the United States to be with her Mom, and her step Dad. She has been in living hell with her parents because parents never understood her or knew how she was in the first place.

2. What does it mean to be a woman?

To her being a woman is something beautiful and she is proud of being a Latina woman. Being a woman is always hard she says only because we are living in a society where men are superior. Being a woman is a great thing because you know you have the power of giving life to a baby, you have the power to keep life existing on this world, and you know you have the power to be equal to men even though most of them put you down. She is grateful that she was born a woman. She says that being a woman is mostly responsibility that you are supposed to have, self respect, and determination on wanting something in life. If you have those things you will make a very intelligent, and you will be a respected woman on this world.

3. What is a challenge in your life?

The biggest challenge that I had in life was becoming a single mother at an early age, and no support from my parents. I was basically on my own and my step Dad hated me for what had happened to me. I was 14 years old going on 15 when I got pregnant. I suffered a lot during that time; my parents treated me like shit and always made me feel down. There was a time where I was thinking about suicide, but thanks to my baby I kept on going and I knew I was going to get out of this. When I was about to have my baby my mom and my dad started acting like if they never had done anything to me like if they were perfect parents. It hurt me a lot that they always did that. They forget about the mistakes that they did and act like if it had never happened. After I had my baby girl, I saw her and she was a total replicate of me. She was so beautiful and she gave me the strength to keep on going in life. After that I knew I didn’t want my child to be treated bad like I did so I moved out at the age of 17 and my life became harder, but I was happier then ever.

ESSAY: What the word man means to me
The word man to me it means destruction, power, corruption and sexist. The reason man means destruction is because men are destroying nature, and are destroying the whole world just because of power. That’s when power comes in mind because men don’t know when to stop when they get something they just want more and more. I think about corruption when the word men comes to mind, because men are just greedy and they think they are the biggest thing in the world, for example the leaders of our present time and in the past they all fell because of corruption. The word “Sexist” comes to mind for the reason that men think they are in power of woman, they think we are better than them and that we are suppose to be on top of them just because of our egos. Some men do understand this, and try to make it as balance as we can but it is still hard at some points.

A challenge that I have gone through as a man, is that ever since I was little my dad and mom were always pushing me because I was the oldest man of a family of an older sister and a younger brother. It was hard for me because any little mistake in the house everything would become my fault and I would get punish for everything. I was never able to make my parents proud until 3 weeks after I left my house. It was so hard for me, I always did my best and even though teachers, friends, other family members said that they were proud of me and that my parents should be lucky and honor of having a good son like me. I never heard it from my parents, so I never put attention to them and appreciated the compliment. I know that coming from a dad that is kind of sexist in away he expects a lot from me but it sucks that they always put you down in any little thing you do.

I’m glad I talked about this subject because I have seen how much I have changed and I have seen how much I should appreciate many things. Sometimes life is unfair but we have put up with it. Like they say you can’t always be happy, but you can’t always be sad either. I know that all I have gone through was meant for a reason, and also it has showed me a lot of how not to be in the future.

Finding Your Way In Life/Elodie's essay

Finding Your Way in Life

“There is in every true woman’s heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.” (Washington Irving). Being a woman nowadays is not easy, you have to fights stereotypes and be stronger than anybody else to prove you can do it and that you are not only the weaker sex.

Growing up and finding myself as they say, has never been easy for me. For a long time I thought that my family scheme was the way life was. I used to believe that woman’s duty was to be like my mom, a stay at home mother completely dedicated to her children and husband. But after my parent’s divorce I realized that this wasn’t right. I realized how hard it can be for a woman to speak up in order to make a change.
My whole vision of life changed at the time when my family collapsed.

I was 16 years old then, we had been living two wonderful years in Panama, and I was the happiest girl ever…well almost… My parents, my brother and I had spent our whole life traveling from country to country and living abroad when we had all decided that we should finally settle somewhere. Both my mom and dad didn’t want to live in France; they were both born in a warm country and could not imagine spending the rest of their lives in such a cold place (not only by the weather but also often by people’s mentality). So we ended up in Panama. This country was amazing, we had a great house, great friends, great weather, unbelievable landscapes…it all sounded ideal until the day I realized that something was missing.

After a few months living there I noticed a big change in my parents relationship. They were fighting all the time, being loud and aggressive toward each other. Finally I had realized that my dad had been unfaithful for so many years and that my mom had finally decided to speak up. My father had just pushed the button way too far for my mom to handle.
My dad had never been the type of dedicated father who really showed affection to his children or wife but this time he was almost never around which made my mom feel even worse then usual. Like many of the stay at home moms she had no personal resources, my dad was the provider, which made her really scared to leave him. Obviously she had thought about leaving him and moving on for a very long time but somehow she kept on trying to make it work, and Panama was her last chance. My personal opinion is that it was lost from the very beginning because in Central America most of the girls go after (I should say jump at their neck) white men as they are the ones that have the most money.

So my mom decided to break it off at that time, packed her belongings and flew back to France with my brother (I was already there for a month or two as I had to finish high school and get ready for College).
To see my mom struggling for her rights and trying to move on with her life as much as she could has been the hardest episode of my life. It really opened my eyes in many ways; I realized that in life no matter who you are, you need to be independent and self-sufficient. No matter the circumstance it is very important for a woman to accomplish her dreams before following someone else’s.

I believe that if my parents would still be living in Panama right now and had never gotten divorced, I would have probably never realized how important it is to accomplish my “Personal Legend”. Years have passed since my parents's got divorced, I am now in the United States following my heart and dreams with the great support of my mom because she believes that nothing is more important than being and feeling happy. Every human being has the right to make decisions for himself and as a woman we need to realize that we have the freedom to become someone and be happy instead of living through someoby else's life. My mom has always said to me “do not make the same mistakes I made, and live your own life before letting somebody in your life”.

Essay- A YOUNG WOMAN’S DETERMINATION- C Hutton

“Positive?! No way, this couldn’t be happening, I am only nineteen years old and I am still in school I couldn’t be pregnant, what am I going to do?” That’s all I could think as I finished in the bathroom at my mother house. “Ok, how am I going to tell everyone and what is my initial decision going to be?” I was faced with a decision that would change my life forever. I had encountered many tough decisions in my life but nothing like this or to this degree. I had grown up in a very rocky childhood with losing my father to Multiple Scleroses and then my mother to illegal problems. Being raised by my grandparents I didn’t have a sense of life that I thought I should, but these struggles had turned me into a strong independent woman. With my strength, integrity and determination, I made the decision to keep the little one that was growing inside of me.

When it came down to it, I knew in my heart that it was not likely for me to just get rid of an innocent baby that I felt like if I had made the mistake on. In addition I knew my family would always be there if the father didn’t want to stay around. The father was wonderful in the beginning of my pregnancy, but then a few months down the road he basically treated me like and animal and made me come to another difficult decision to leave him. At this point I had moved four hours from my family to try to make it work between us, but just like everyone told me it wouldn’t work and it didn’t.

I was determined not to sit around and wait for someone to save me or make me feel better about my situation. I knew I had a beautiful little boy who was going to be looking up to me and he deserved the best that I could give him. With my own perseverance, I found a better job that paid more and offered benefits to take care of my wild son. Knowing I had more to offer than just data entry and sitting in front of a computer all day, I decided to go back to school and finish my dream of becoming a nurse. I worked many hours as a research assistant and I was attended school as a full time student. This schedule became a challenge to my mind. I felt insane as, at twenty-two, I had so many responsibilities. My son had just turned two and he was hitting the point of the terrible twos and driving me crazy, but with the help of my family, I was able to stay focused.

Then one night, my girlfriends dragged me out for a girl’s night out and I met a very handsome and well put together man. We chatted for hours and we really enjoyed each other’s company. From that night on Steven, my new found love, and I became very close and he became a large part of my life. Steven has contributed so much to my life. His positive reinforcement and love has given me another light at the end of my tunnel.

As a student I worked very hard to keep my grades up and at this point of my life education became very important so it was a priority. With all of the outside help and pushes that my boyfriends give me and just coming home to my beautiful son’s face made life really worth living to the best of my ability. The semesters keep passing and I am still on the road to success. I am not quite finished yet but I am getting closer every day. My boyfriend is still by my side and my son is growing up to be a healthy and smart young toddler.

I have become a very strong individual even after facing that tough decision almost three years ago. In my path I has have found a new light and I still smile and it looks as if my life is normal. Difficulties will always be thrown my way, but knowing I have made it this far, I know nothing will get in my way! still smiles and looks as if my life is normal and difficulties will always be thrown my way, but knowing I have made it this far there is nothing that could get in my way!!

Mother's Job/ natsuko.I

My mother is 50 years old now. She is very beautiful, wonderful and also very funny person. She lives in Tokyo Japan. She works in children’s clothes shop with her sister. I love her mind because she always making people laugh, I am the only child of her. I respect her as woman and as a mother. So, I interview her.

What does the word women mean to you?

I don’t know what I can say, that is very difficult question isn’t it? Well, the most different thing is the power between woman and man. Then, if I said the woman mean, it is a maternal instinct, I think. Because women have a power of protect. That means men have fighting spirit and woman have a control power of that.

Can you tell me a story of a challenge you faced as a woman?

When you entered elementary school, I feel easier to work. I worked before also, but after you go to school, I decided to change of my job. I challenged to start new job in my work place with my sister. That was children’s clothes shop and I had a belief that my shop would have only imports. The biggest chance was imports children’s clothes shops were not a lot in that time. However, I hit a big problem. My sister and I can’t speak English. I wanted imports anyway, so we went to New York with coordinator and make a deal. Not only American clothes I got in European clothes. Those were all different from Japanese one. Especially color. And also, I got accessories, socks and bags, those were so cute. Then, a lot of your friend’s mothers came to buy goods in my shop. But, it was a not only good happening because that time we were in the bursting of the bubble. No matter in that time. Few years later, the high prices clothes couldn’t sell. Of course the imports goods were not cheap. Then, I did a second challenge that I replacement half of the clothes. We bought a many of clothes from Japanese company. So, many clothes could sell cheap price. Then, customers increased and boost sales. I bought nice and cheap things of my sense. I know what mothers want so, I successes my job.

However, finally she said the biggest memory and challenge was she has borne me.