The pleasant moment with Aileen

Introduction
Aileen, my interviewee, is my ex-private tutor for TOEFL test as well as my friend. After finishing our lessons in the last month, every Sunday we go to church and enjoy Santa Barbara, having lunch at the fancy restaurant with Jazz, for instance, or taking a walk with her pet, Macca, in the park next to the ocean. Although we have known each other for just a few months, she is now such a precious existence for me. The interview took place on one day of last month at the park where Jewish wedding was held. My purpose for asking her somewhat a wide range of questions was to deal with the diverse roles that Aileen had to come up with, as a working woman, a mother of nine children, and, at the same time, a student.


Q. First, could you tell me something about your life?
My name is Aileen and I’m a 70 year old woman, born in America. Now I’m retired and enjoying my freedom and living in Santa Barbara where the weather is beautiful.

Q. What was life like for you as a little girl?
I was raised by two women. I didn’t know my dad. So I didn’t have a father image, which was – difficult. But, I had a good childhood. I was just lonely because I was the only one. All I wanted to have was a sister. Other than that, life was pretty good.

Q. Then, you might want to have a big family.
Yeah, ‘cause I was lonely. So I wanted to have a lot of children so they wouldn’t be lonely like me.

As a woman in society...

Q. What kinds of challenges do you think women face in society?
Well, they do the same job as men, but they do not get the same pay. And sometimes, they are picked on, because they are women. They are teased and sexually harassed. Financially, they are not as always as official as men and a lot of them are single parents, trying to support their children and work at the same time. So, that’s challenge.

And I think women are seen as the weaker sex, as not as intelligent as men. But that’s not true. But, that’s the way the society looks at us, I think. They don’t seem to be offered the same seriousness. They are not taken seriously as the men. What they say is not looked as the equal as the men might say. Hard to explain, but sometimes men don’t seem to accept women who’s running a country because they always feel that men helping women.

Q. Do you think the women in the society are still facing – challenges in the area of educational or...
Yes, I think there are some occupations that are not as opened to women as they are to men, which is not fair because they are high-paying occupations. I think a lot of women hold the same offices and jobs, but do not get paid the same amount of money as same effort.

Q. Then, have you faced any challenges in a society as a woman? For example...
Yes. As a single parent, it was difficult to obtain financial help to go to school because the men were – and in the traditional system, they feel that woman doesn’t need to go to college, should help men, and take care of the children.

Facing financial challenges as a woman...

Q. In your opinion, what are some financial challenges that women face?
The fact they are sometimes raising children by themselves and working but they don’t get paid as much as men would. And yet they are still not being head of the family. I think that probably the financially women are not paid as much as men – when they are doing the same job, which is not fair.

Q. Have you had any financial challenges especially as a woman?
Oh, yes. When I was raising my nine children by myself working three jobs –a coach at the college, a typist, a hostess at a restaurant on weekend, and also part time baby sitter – while I was going to school. I even couldn’t find time to be exhausted.

About her school life and her choice of major...

Q. And it maybe difficult when you decided to come back to school. It would have been also challenge...
Oh, yes. It was challenge because I was a lot older and I had to deal with younger people whose education is paid for by their parents and make it for to relax and party instead of studying. And I had to work and raise my children and study, too. Besides, some of my children, probably, thought I was wasting my time going to college in my 40. But, it was something I wanted to do. So, that was difficult but it was worth it.

Q. Is the decision you made your major as the Law and society related to your thought of women’s status in society?
Yeah. A woman could give a different perspective on crime and criminals and a better idea of how to deal with it. Yes, definitely, I think woman has more compassion, a more nurturing, and I think it’s important in order to keep teenagers, especially, out of system.

Q. What was your most interesting part in the law and society?
I had to do paper about the women, who were beat up by her boyfriend of husband. So I had to go to a court and listen to cases. And man was a judge, so the husband who was guilty actually got off free. The woman was batted, but it didn’t seem to matter.

Q. Were you interested in other majors except for the law and society?
No, I wanted to be a criminal attorney. That’s why I took that. And I went to law school for one year. And then, I found out that the law did not work the way I thought it should. And I stopped.

As a mother...

Q. What challenges have you faced as a mother?
Well, I had to do much work even though I had to work outside of the home. It was still a lot – raising my children. And my ex-husband didn’t believe that the man’s job was to do any housework, any cooking, or taking care of the children. So, that was up to me. So, that was a challenge, trying to do all by myself.

Q. Then, you mean you had to work at the same time do house chores?
No, I didn’t have to work outside, out of the home, until I became a single parent. And then I did, to support my kids.

Q. What was the most difficult moment as a mother, raising the children?
Finding the time to spend with each one, individually. That was the hardest part, giving each one individual one on one time. There weren’t enough hours a day.

Q. Could you give me a specific example?
Well, my one daughter was in the middle. I didn’t know at the time when she was growing up. I didn’t find out until she became a mom. And I was with her one night and she told me she always felt like she was in the middle and she was ugly and she didn’t feel that we had time for her. That was sad because it was very me but there wasn’t much to do about that.

Her voice about ethnic background...

Q. What is your attitude to women in your ethnic background?
Well, I think white women probably have a little better advantage than Black or Asian or Hispanic, because they think they’re the superior race, which is not true, but that’s the way they look at themselves. And I think white women have been in this country the longest time, their chances are a bit better of being treated like an equal, whereas other various background people are treated.

Q. What is your thinking about women from another ethnic background?
Hispanic woman are very hard working. They tend to stick together so they’ve got their strength and their unity because they help one another. So, whatever challenges they face, they a kind of face them together rather than individually, which is good, cause they have more strength. Whereas they do, white women tend to do it alone. I think white woman can learn from that.

Q. As a tutor, have you experienced something related to women from other ethnic backgrounds?
Sometimes we can come to a solution at their problem, based on my experience. I was tutoring one Korean woman, who was in her sixty. And she had married to a white man who was a marine, and she had come to this country as his bride. But, he was a real Macho man, so she was never allowed to learn anything. And then, he had a heart attack and she was left without being able to drive, hardly able to read or understand English. She was just a kind of out there, so she needed to be helped to learn the language so she get a driver’s license, write a check to handle her finance. I had to help with her English. So, that was a challenge.

Conclusion
To be honest, this interview thing was such a challenge for me, from beginning to end. As an international student, who just arrived here in January this year, I was a kind of nervous about the project, because it would require a lot of job to do. Now, however, I am satisfied with my work and grateful for the opportunity to hear one woman's voice personally. Though the whole process, such as listening to recording repeatedly and arranging the contents of the interview, I was also able to pracice post my work on the foriegn web site that I am not used to using. Above all, learning the point of view as well as some valuable experiences from Aileen would be unforgettable memory to me.